Games People Play

I'm just going to jump right in and say that I have been being drained by people. I did not realize it until now, at this very moment, at the computer, writing this. Life is a funny thing. People are usually distracted by all the clutter that make up their lives and they usually miss out on the important things. The small stuff, the crumbs, the stuff that really makes your life what it is. God has blessed me with a period of stillness in my life. And during this stillness I have watched people pass by, return, act, react, ascend, descend, laugh, cry, crash and burn. In my stillness I have become more dependable or maybe those around me have become more dependent upon me. You see I get three types of phone calls daily. The first type is the : Can you help me (fill in the blank)? This type of phone call usually doesn't bother me, but I have noticed that it is becoming more severe as several family members and friends have somehow appointed me the occupation of being their personal assistant. It is okay to ask, but occasionally ask yourself: How can I help Victoria today? The second type is the friend or family member in a personal crisis. Again this type of phone call does not bother me in the least , especially if I can contribute any good advice. However it becomes an annoyance when after hours of telling and retelling the same story, at the very end of the conversation they ask: So how's everything with you? How are the children, etc. , as if they really cared. No, I take that back, I'm sure they care, just not at that moment. If you happen to be one of those friends or family members, take note: I would prefer you to ask about my wellbeing at the beginning of the conversation or not at all. And finally, my personal favorite is the phone call asking me why I haven't called or why I have not been answering their call. Self explanatory, I thought. I'm either busy or I'm waiting on your call. Simple as that.
Peace,
Victoria

One

I have been incredibly busy with school, Gossip Girl, America's Next Top Model,
(I'm so mad Saleisha won!), Project Runway and Dexter, family and friends,
tragedy and victory, happiness and sorrow, that I have not been able to post as
often as I would like. So with that said I have a public service announcement:
Being a New Yorker teaches you to become overindulgent. Filled with its buy one get one free sales, evidence of greed and gluttony are everywhere.Why isn't one enough? I had to examine things closer. A few of my closest friends (female and male) have more than one boyfriend/girlfriend. Fine. I have six email addresses not including my blackberry email. Fine. I have two different hair brushes (they are both doing the same thing right?)Fine. I subscribe to the New York magazine, but I still feel compelled to read the online version. Okay, ridiculous! My oldest son even has two piggy banks (no, one is not filled to capacity)He also watches the incessant Noggin, but I sometimes see him view the same programs online. It is true that children love repetition, but what is our excuse? Is our culture simply absentminded, or was Chris Rock right when he said we love "hunting on a full stomach"? Have I passed down my 'more is better than one' attitude onto my children? Before the guilt can settle, I realize that this persistent behavior transcends way beyond little old me! These habits are being perpetuated throughout the city, perhaps the whole world! Or do I just live in a city filled with people who have obsessive compulsive disorder? Let's stop the madness people! You be the judge. But I will say this: you can never have too many shoes.....

Happy Holidays
V

Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl

I have been dying to write about this new show that I love! But the thing is, it's not shot in New York, nor is it even about New Yorkers in particular. One thing is for sure though, New Yorkers and the rest of the world will identify with this show. It's fabulous because it forces you to take a closer look at gender differences, roles, expectations and relationships. (That's something that is prevalent in New York....) It's incredible. I cannot stop thinking about it....it's called "Tell Me You Love Me." Those of you who've already watched the show, I know what you're thinking. It's porn with a juiced up story line, but please, for heaven's sake, take some time to analyze the characters and what they represent. I wouldn't describe it as a battle of the sexes, nor would I describe it as bias, leaning toward men or women, but rather a showcase of men and women in relationships, who torture and gratify each other. I read a review on the show a couple of weeks ago that said if you are in a relationship, you should not watch this show with your significant other because it will make you argue endlessly. I found that statement interesting because not only did I not watch the show with my husband, but while I'm watching the show, I frequently ask myself: is that us? (Not convinced? Just watch the couples reactions to the show on HBO on demand. Some couples are visibly uncomfortable discussing some of the content featured on the show. It seems like it brings out their own issues.) "Tell Me You Love Me" forces you to ask questions like: Did she just say that? Why are they still together? Does he expect me to do that? Why doesn't he want to talk about it? Again: Is that us? With it's characters it shows you presumably your past (using Jaime and Hugo), your present (using Carolyn and Palek or Katie and David), and hopefully your future (using May and Arthur). It seeks to shatter our preconceived notions about what the opposite sex (or in some instances, the same sex) should offer in a relationship. It addresses your needs being met or lack thereof. Not only that, what really draws me to the show is that I see myself in all of the leading female characters, and in the past I was drawn to men, even married a man, with the same tendencies as the leading male characters. Or could it be that the scenes in therapy with Dr. Foster fills the void that Dr. Melfi filled for me on the Sopranos? Who knows? Besides, who are we kidding, we all need to visit Dr. Foster or Dr. Melfi for a therapy session.

Happy Watching...
V

Ex and the City

My Ex and I have not been a couple for over 8 years now. But we still remain very close despite our failed relationship. In fact it feels like since we've been friends we have grown much closer. He is a great conversationalist, ambitious, and focused. All of the qualities that he didn't have when we were together. Anybody that knows me, knows I love to talk! We share our fears, our goals and our hopes for our children. He has two sons that are close in age with my sons. It is very common for New Yorkers (especially my friends) to be in love one morning, and out of love that same night. I have to be honest, I never would of imagined that I would have remained friends with one of my many Exes for this long, but it happened, so now what? I always like to compare my life and my personality to New York. Welcoming at times, cold at other times. Beautiful depending on who you ask. Complex to some, but simple to those who are familiar. The element of contrast: rich and poor, strong and weak, wise and ignorant. (I could go on) If I am NY, then my friends are the MTA. Traveling with me through my life's journey, taking me where I need to go, and there for me 24 hours a day. My Ex is sort of like the Empire State building. Tall, big, lights up at the right times and always visible. What's New York without the subway or the Empire State building? Furthermore, who am I without the people in my life who shaped who I am today?

Until next time,
V

The Turtle and the Hare

This time it is going to be short. Today is forever etched in the memories of New Yorkers as a day of loss. But as time moves forward and our wounds heal, we will eventually forgive. But for us Hip Hop fans, today marks a new era in music history. If you have not bought 50 Cent or Kanye's album, do so immediately. A few months back while attending a live taping of Def Poetry, I screamed out to Mos Def that: "Hip Hop is not dead!!" Today proves that. And no matter who wins the race to sell records, I did my part to reinforce the importance of a phenomenon that was born right here in New York City! Now do your part.......

Happy listening,

V

Escape From New York

Where do people go when they move away from New York? I ask this because for a long time I felt like if you didn't live in New York, you didn't live. And as you already know, it is quite the opposite. I moved away from New York before and I felt homesick and malcontent. I longed for my concrete jungle. I know you probably think I am exaggerating. Yeah, OK maybe a little. But I could always visit New York, right? Wrong. I am addicted. The bright lights, the noise, the people. And although I had ventured outside of my metropolis, little did I know, it still had so much control over me. I came back and vowed to never move again. Recently my thoughts have been on attending law school outside of NY, but when my baby sister called me to say that she had joined the Army, I found my thoughts right back where I started. The same towers that fell here gave rise to a war that is still raging and to make matters worse, my little sister may one day have to go to the desert. Whether I like it or not, New York has a tight grip on me, and I may never be able to escape. No matter where I go, I will never forget this place. When Charles Dickens wrote "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times", he must of been in a relationship with New York. I just want to take this time to extend my condolences to all of those who have lost family and friends on September 11, 2001. There is no place like home.

Until next time,
V

The Awful Truth

Its been a while, but I'm back and this time it ain't pretty. In a city of never ending pretenders and posers, how can you tell who/what is real and who/what isn't? There is an overwhelming amount of BIG energy that comes from New York and it seems that some people/places claim to be just as BIG and important, when in reality they're not. I am aware this isn't a problem exclusive to New York City, but it seems that our city is full of trickery and deception, from it's apartment space to its working wages. Why do we create these fantasies? Whats wrong with who/what you really are? Why do we list an apartment as "spacious, great location, with a view", when in reality it is 600 sf., close to a noisy outdoor train station, with a view of a brick wall? I think its high time that we started to be completely honest with ourselves (and other people as well). Just because we live in a fabulous city does not mean that we are ALL fabulous. Why do (some) men lie about who they're dating, they're age, they're marital status, sexual preference, etc. Don't they know New York City women are armed with a team of nosy friends and money, and when you combine the two anything is possible? And really, in the age of Google searches, why would you even attempt to falsify who you are? Your Google dirt is bound to surface and the awful truth is bound to come out. New York, New York, big city of dreams....

Until next time,
V